From a reader…
QUAERITUR:
My wife and I are both converts to Catholicism, and to the best of our knowledge (we even consulted our RCIA people and a priest) we thought we had a valid marriage. Having had her doubts renewed by something on EWTN, my wife and I talked to a different priest who thinks we need a convalidation and we think we understand where the earlier miscommunication occurred; my question to you is: if we need a convalidation, do we need to confess for having had marital relations and/or taking Communion outside of a valid marriage when we, to the best of our non-Catholic-formed knowledge, were doing nothing wrong? (I tried a quick check of your archives, but found nothing that seemed to pertain.)
If the situation is so confusing that different priests have given different answers, then you should call the diocesan marriage tribunal and talk to a canonist. It could be that that will elicit a third answer. It is still a good idea to call them.
If there were a need for a convalidation of the marriage, you would not need to confess engaging in marital activity during the time when you – assured by the priest who received you into the Church – thought you were married. God does not levy the guilt of sin on the souls of those who truly do not know that they are sinning. Guilt for sin depends on your knowing that you are sinning. And, in this case, authority had informed you that you were okay.
Again, check with an expert before proceeding…
