VATICAN DEATH PLOTS FEARED! VAMPIRES *MAY* BE INVOLVED!

Remember that stupid, wicked and gawdawful book by David Yallop full of unsubstantiated and prurient speculation about an assassination of Pope John Paul I?

When the speculation about the secret “Vatileaks Report” started to rev up, with its scandalous possibilities, Yallop jumped to mind.  The lefty press is Yalloping the Pope and that Report.   “The Pope was forced out by clandestine [FILL IN BLANK – options: homosexuals, corrupt bankers, the Flying Wallendas, etc.]!”

Now I read a piece at The Telegraph:

The Pope will die within a year: Vatican ‘assassination fears’ revealed

The Pope will die within the next 12 months, a senior Vatican figure has reportedly claimed amid fears of an assassination plot.

The sensational prediction was allegedly made by Cardinal Paolo Romeo, the archbishop of Palermo in Sicily, on a recent visit to China.  [Sounds like a movie screenplay… kinda like the one I am writing, but mine has vampires in it…]
Cardinal Romeo reportedly made the startling prediction of the Pope’s death during a trip to China in November 2011.
He seemed so sure of the fact that the people he spoke with, including Italian businessmen and Chinese representatives of the Catholic Church, were convinced that he was talking about an assassination attempt.
They were so alarmed by his remarks that they reported them back to the Vatican.
The extraordinary comments were written up in a top-secret report, dated Dec 30, 2011, and delivered to the Pope by a senior cardinal, Dario Castrillon Hoyos, a Colombian, in January.

It warns of a “Mordkomplott” – death plot – against Benedict.
The story was broken on Friday by an Italian daily, Il Fatto Quotidiano, with the headline “Plot against the Pope – he will die within 12 months”.  [More about Il Fatto below!]
The newspaper, which has a reputation for scoops, published a page from the confidential report.  [*sigh*]

[…]

Shades of Pope Boniface VIII and poor Celestine, his predecessor.

Now, in my version… there’s this cadre of secret Vatican vampire assassins… yes, I know that’s been done before…. but these assassins are the vampires… see?  SEE?

BTW… a friend of mine in Rome describes the Italian paper Il Fatto Quotidiano as:

“An elitist Commie rag of journos dissatisfied with the official party organ.  Even their own relatives avoid buying it.  Subsidies to political parties make this possible.”

About Fr. John Zuhlsdorf

Fr. Z is the guy who runs this blog. o{]:¬)
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